Book Alana Today! 832.409.2838|Alana@TheMsEngineerWay.com

About alanamhill

This author has not yet filled in any details.
So far alanamhill has created 24 entries.

Don’t ASK. Just TELL. How to Help Houston Post-Harvey

Please don’t ask what you can do to help the Houston area.  Just tell us what you are going to do to help.

Texans are proud and this devastating flood has jolted us out of our comfortable lives and placed us in a very vulnerable position.  If you ask what you can do for us, most Texans will point to those less fortunate than themselves.  They may suggest you donate to one of the national organizations to show your support.

You Can Do More

More than ten million people in the Houston region of Texas are in shock right now.  They don’t know what to do next to recover their lives.  You see, it doesn’t take water intrusion into your home to be affected.  The catastrophic flooding affects a much larger community where we don’t know what to do for ourselves, our neighbors or our community at large.

At times like this, we need a “checklist” for taking action.  This checklist is organized for two groups.  Pick a checklist and tell us what you will do to help.

 

Local to the Houston Region Checklist

Your neighbors need your help, but they are uncomfortable in every way you can imagine.  The self-sufficiency enjoyed last week has tumbled into a pool of helplessness.  They are exhausted and don’t even know what needs to be done about getting back on their feet.

Just Tell Them:

I am here to help you:

  • Take pictures before anything is moved and again when things are bagged up or taken to the curb
  • Make the call to the insurance company (with the owner present)
  • Take food and beverages to first responders
  • Make meals for other families so they don’t have to worry about cooking
  • Give them a place to escape at your place to eat or just take a welcome break
  • Move damaged belongings to the street for pick up
  • Cut out the saturated sheetrock and drag to the curb or bag it up for the insurance company
  • Retrieve important documents and take them to a place where they can be dried as individual sheets of paper
  • Box up salvageable (dry) belongings
  • Take clothes and bedding to be washed and return them clean/folded
  • Take durable goods like dishes, pots and pans to my house to be washed and returned when you are ready for them
  • Transport you to where you need to go (millions of cars have been totaled)
  • Get quotes from water mitigation companies
  • Bring your kids to my house for a play date
  • Pick up groceries or other supplies
  • Pack school lunches for the kids
  • Drive them out to find a rental car (all local rental cars are gone)
  • Drive them to look at replacement vehicles or call dealers who are willing to bring the prospective cars to them for consideration

I am here with supplies:

  • Masks and ventilators
  • Paper towels
  • Disposable gloves
  • Trash bags
  • Bleach
  • Disinfecting wipes and hand sanitizer
  • Boxes and packing tape
  • Sharpie for marking boxes
  • Hand soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste
  • Feminine hygiene products and diapers
  • Mosquito repellent
  • Pet food and pet kennels
  • Cash and Prayers – the ultimate supplies

Outside the Houston Region Checklist

Just Tell Us:

We are strong and far from helpless victims in this part of the country.  We are courageous and confident.  We love our community and want to be independent.  But still…we need your help.

Spiritual and Emotional Help

  • Pray, meditate, visualize – or use whatever spiritual resource you acknowledge in your life to lift us up in your daily practice.
  • Remember us in your spiritual communities for months to come. Right now, many people are praying for the Houston region.  But things will get tougher before they get better.  Please still be remembering us in a couple of months when our world is continuing to spin in disbelief and recovery.
  • Call anyone you may know to show your love and support. Call them this week and call them again next week and the next.  Call them every week until you can tell they are feeling close to normal.  Let them vent, cry, rant and crumble emotionally.  Listening is a powerful force for recovery.

Financial and Organization Support

  • Every single disaster recovery organization is involved in this clean up and recovery. Donate to your favorite – whether it is the Red Cross or a local group like the Cajun Navy.  Show the people who are your surrogates in the field you care too.  Money keeps these organizations viable.
  • Volunteer in your area. Because so many volunteers have flocked to the Houston region, your local organizations may be short of man power.  Research a group who is helping here and offer your time to help there.  Keep these generous groups going for the good of your own community and ours.
  • Find a local organization – or be the organizer – who is gathering supplies, services and cash to be sent to our area.
  • Send gift cards to restaurants and stores like Home Depot or Lowe’s

Supplies – on an Ongoing Basis

  • Every time a disaster like this happens, supplies come by the truck load into the community. We are grateful.  Two months from now, the supplies may no longer be coming.  Find a family or an organization and pledge to give for the next six months to one year.  The truth is, it will be many years before we are back to something resembling “normal.”  Don’t abandon us when the news is no longer covering the catastrophe.
  • If you know of someone in the local area, you can “adopt a family” to help for several months. Maybe your local organizations can compile a list of family contacts.  You can use services like Amazon to send them basic supplies directly to their home.  Occasionally you can use something like Uber Eats to send the family a complete meal.
  • Another way to “adopt a family” would be to offer to pay for daycare for a period of time. This kind of thing is perfect for those of you who don’t trust the large national organizations.  You can make a huge impact on one family – without the organization’s administration costs diminishing the affect of your generosity.

These checklists are just a “drop in the bucket” – pun intended – and should be used as an idea starter rather than being considered a comprehensive list of what can be done.  Use social media to communicate your desire to help and organize others who feel the same way.

It’s going to be a long recovery.  Anything we can do to help those with huge disaster impacting their lives will help shift the energy from fear into comfort.  Hold us in your highest energy and tell us what you are going to do about it.

Tell Us You Care

Please stop what you are doing right now and go to one of these websites to make a donation.  Every dollar counts.  The people of Houston thank you for your support.

 

This article is contributed by professional business book ghostwriter, Kate Frank: www.AuthorLegacyResource.com/.  Kate was inspired to share this information by evacuee,  speaker and coach Elizabeth Barbour: www.ElizabethBarbour.com/.

The Change Whisperer

The first project I was assigned as a young engineer was intended to bring about a massive amount of change to an industry that didn’t particularly like change. I recall being mentored by engineers who kept their best information in a “tally book” in their back pocket. That would be the equivalent of Google docs today! The undertaking I was embarking on was going to digitize and standardize invoicing for the entire company…but first, people had to be taught how to do things the “new way”. Armed with the authority of upper management, I was prepared to bullishly get people to put away their notepads and old way of doing things, and quickly adopt this new way. Boy, was I in for a lesson (or two). I’d like to share my favorites with you here:

  1. For many, change feels like a loss – When you ask people to make large scale change like I was, you have to be prepared for them to grieve the loss of their current situation. While writing things down in a book seemed trivial to me, the comfort and control that people had grown accustomed to were in jeopardy, and just like any emotional loss, I didn’t have to fully understand it to help them through it. I need only acknowledge the depth of their feelings and go from there.
  2. You get more bees with honey… – This old adage (which goes on to compare honey to vinegar of all things) holds especially true when trying to bring about change. Finding ways to kindly get people to adapt to change is just as essential as politely asking the toddler to put their toys away. Pounding your fist on a desk may get someone to appear to agree with you, but you won’t see the results in the long run. And when adopting change, it’s not the short-term appearance that matters, it’s the sustaining of the new state that will allow you to declare victory.

I’m a quick study, so before I realized it, I found myself telling people that “it would all be OK” right in the middle of the training. Setting their minds at ease, and even just listening to their concerns, went a long way in watching them take the new steps and replace the tally books with laptops.

Are You “Booked” This Summer?

 A couple of months ago, I attended a book launch and I won the door prize which included a T-shirt that said: “I’m booked”. That clever play on words has stuck with me, and with summer upon us, has given me something to ponder. If you have children, chances are you signed them up for a summer reading program to keep their minds engaged. I have done this for years with my kids and enjoyed watching them dive into
A couple of months ago, I attended a book launch and I won the door prize which included a T-shirt that said: “I’m booked”. That clever play on words has stuck with me, and with summer upon us, has given me something to ponder. If you have children, chances are you signed them up for a summer reading program to keep their minds engaged. I have done this for years with my kids and enjoyed watching them dive into book after book. But while your kiddos are reading, have you also gotten into any good books? Well, I thought I would help by sharing a few of my favorites that you might want to curl up and read:
  1. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People –  This isn’t light reading, but it is life-changing. Stephen R. Covey breaks down the ways in which we can engage and communicate with others to bring out the best in every relationship. I’m personally excited about this because I’ll begin teaching it this year. And you can read along with your kids by getting them the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens (written by his son, Sean Covey)
  2. The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork – This is one of John C. Maxwell’s most influential works. He shares principles of team building that I’ve used in leadership.
  3. Taking Flight! – This book will help you master the DISC styles using the technique of storytelling, followed by a breakdown of each style. It is a great way to understand yourself, and those around you.
  4. Love is a Catalyst: The Pain Behind the Purpose – You didn’t think I’d leave my own book off the list, did you? In this inspiring memoir, the author shares her trials and triumphs in life and the growing of her faith. In it, she encourages readers to see their own lives through balanced lenses.

 

Reading has long-since been considered the best way to develop new skills and to open your mind to various ways of thinking. Being a bookworm has served me well, and I hope you find encouragement and equipping in the titles above.

The Imperfect Perfectionist

If you’re anything like me, you like things done right, on time and under budget. I can still hear my dearly departed father-in-law saying “well, ok, Ms. Engineer” as I attempted to get Thanksgiving dinner in perfect order. Operating in excellence is something to be proud of and something that’s needed in our workplaces, families, and communities. But as I grew as a servant leader and as a mom, I came to appreciate the oxymoron of being an imperfect perfectionist. I came to evangelize the notion of wanting it done right, while realizing that it won’t always happen.

To help myself and those I’ve encouraged deal with this dichotomy, I use 3 simple life principles:

  1. Give yourself some grace – whether you are a petrophysicist or a rocket scientist (I know both), chances are you’re going to make a mistake, and when you do, be prepared to cut yourself some slack. It’s great to be a driven, high-achiever, that’s how we put a man on the moon! But don’t forget that you are still a fallible human…just say “my bad”! Take a note of what you did wrong and turn it into a teachable moment for yourself. You’ll be less disappointed in yourself if you capture the lesson that came out of it.
  2. Give others grace  – chances are if you struggle with #1, you blow it at this one. People who don’t give themselves grace find it really hard to extend it to others. The next time you’re about to blow a gasket with your son or your team member, remember the last mistake you made. Handle them the way you SHOULD have handled yourself. Grow in humility, grow in grace.
  3. Praise progress – In your pursuit of perfection, pause periodically to praise progress (now say that again!). When you recognize how much you (or someone in your charge) has grown, you’ll be able to focus on the flowers, and not the weeds! Oh, how sweet it is!

So if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, celebrate how far you’ve come. Revel in the reality of having a critical eye, but a compassionate spirit. But, if you’re just admitting you have a problem, give the pointers above a try and see if the next misstep you encounter takes you out of orbit or just gets you off the ground. Measure and reward!

Which Part Are You? DISC Styles Simplified

We know that we are all members of the same body, and each part has a role to play. But do you know your role? And do you truly value it? Do those around you know it and value it? There are lots of different ways we can categorize ourselves (ethnicity, gender, personality, gifts, talents), but one of the most useful is our behavior style.
Our behavior style is relevant in any situation: family, work, and volunteer/servant leadership. So let’s take a quick look at the four DISC behavior styles and see if you recognize your own.

Do you stick with decisions? Are you decisive and move a room to an action? Chances are you are a D-style and while some won’t appreciate your decisiveness, your ability to review information and make an actionable decision is a benefit to your team.

Do you motivate those around you? – If you have ever been “accused” of being a cheerleader, chances are you an I-style. Your outgoing, talkative nature can inspire some but annoy others. How can the team keep playing without encouragers?

Do you remain steady, even in crisis? – Have you been known to wait patiently while people around you are in a tiff about waiting (huffing and puffing and making faces?). You could be an S-style. Your laid-back nature provides a calming force to those around you, and that’s not just needed when something is on fire, but even before the logs are stacked!

Do you think critically and enjoy facts? – Maybe you prefer to know all the significant digits in pi while others are fine to round it. You likely fall into the C-style category. Your attention to detail can be an asset to your team, but your tendency to over-think things can slow you and the team down.

This isn’t a competition and understanding how these roles work together is the key. The eye can’t say to the hand “I don’t need you”. So how do you learn your style to know which part you are? Read this article from Extended DISC for more information.

Are You Part of the Solution?

Growing up, my aunt would ask my cousins and me “Are you part of the problem, or are you part of the solution?” Have you ever been asked this question? Even as a child, I knew that if the answer to this wasn’t “SOLUTION”, then I was in trouble. We all knew what was next: the statement of the problem and how WE could solve it. This method of questioning was a long-standing family secret (and my aunt will tell you that she got it from my mother). And if I needed help with the solution, that was often followed with “Look it up”.

I didn’t realize it then, but this self-leadership tactic became a model for how I would lead and develop my own children and those on my team. While this is a parenting tip, it applies to people form 6 to 66. As leaders, we reap 3 key benefits from utilizing this strategy:

  1. It creates independent thinkers – Ask yourself, “Do I want a team of people who do what I tell them to, or a team that knows what to do?” Of course the answer is the latter, but that only comes when people are allowed the room to think independently. When you’re a leader, it’s not beneficial that you point out the problem, but that you encourage your team to frame the problem, and thereby develop a solution. That is, unless you enjoy being the smartest one in the room, encourage critical thinking.
  2. They will have much more buy-in – You don’t have to sell someone on an idea they came up with. Your team will have more buy-in to a solution they created, so they’ll put it into practice without “force”. Don’t make the mistake of thinking rebellion ends with the “terrible two’s” or teens; adults on your team want to create their own plan…and you can just make sure they don’t set anything on fire.
  3. They will feel empowered – Empowerment is the antidote to defiance.And empowered team (and family) members contribute more and with a positive attitude. Try going through massive change with unempowered people…it’s no fun!
I love having people on my team who are independent, buy into solutions THEY create, and feel empowered. Now I feel like there are more benefits, though, so why don’t you ask yourself “the question”, and see if you come up with some added benefits. If you do, post them here.

Spring has sprung – let’s all wear yellow

 

I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad Spring is here. And while I look forward to the warmer weather and the sunshine that it brings, that’s not why I’m so happy about it. Three years ago, my husband and I suffered a tragic loss: our oldest son died from a rare form of bone cancer called Osteosarcoma (yellow is the ribbon color for Sarcomas). And because his passing was in January, these past few years have started off dark and heavy. But thank God for sunshine!! The sun doesn’t make the hurt go away, but it does make it bearable. I still don’t know why he had to leave us, but I trust God through it all.

It is that trust that is the focus of my heart these days. It’s easy to trust God in good times, but how do we trust him with our grief and loss? I’d like to share some lessons that helped me, and should you ever need it, I pray that they will help you as well:

1. Grow in the dark until the light comes back on The Sunday after my son’s passing, our pastor’s sermon was titled “Where is God in My Pain?”. This is a common question, as grief feels like being in the dark all alone. But the good news is 1) we’re not alone AND 2) mold is not the only thing that grows in the darkness. Our strength, character and compassion get developed during those dark times. Trust in the process, and be patient with yourself as you sprout new buds. When the light does come back on, you will be amazed at the blossom. Your family, colleagues, and friends may not notice immediately, but in time they will, and you will, too!

2. Decide not to sink One of my favorite passages in the bible talks about Peter walking on water. The description of doing the impossible fills me with hope and reminds me of what’s possible. But this story is intended to remind us that we can only do the impossible (and difficult) when we keep our focus on our faith. When Peter took his eyes off Jesus while he was walking on the water, he began to sink. He turned his focus to the storm, and not his help. The next time you hear the expression “trying to keep my head above water”, think of Peter, and do what he did, and decide not to sink. Help is available, choose to take it.

3. Nothing happens to you just for YOU On Jan. 11, 2014, I became a member of a club I never wanted to be in. A club of parents grieving the loss of a child, and more broadly of a person having to live without someone they love. If I had thought for one minute that the pain I was feeling (and the healing I receive daily) was just for me, I would have missed the point. The world is full of hurting people, we see them in the break-room at work, in the mall when we shop, and in the pews next to us on Sunday. They are our neighbors out for a walk, or the teachers in school with our children. And as a result of my own experience, I can empathize with them. And it’s why I’m so passionate about giving back and helping others…I’ve been there. I needed support, and people gave it. When we find the purpose in our pain, we are able to bless others and be part of the cycle of giving.

To continue the cycle of giving by learning more about Team Malcolm and how you can help children battling cancer find comfort in the Arts in Medicine Program. We are raising funds through the month of March.

When to Communicate from the Heart

We’ve learned that effective communication should come from the heart, and I wholeheartedly believe that (no pun intended). When trying to motivate, inspire or even just relay a simple message, speaking with compassion is usually the best way to go. I still remember how profound it was when I heard a conference speaker say that our EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) is just as important as our IQ (Intelligence Quotient), and some thought leaders say it’s even more important.  It wasn’t a new idea, but it was new to me, and a refreshing reminder that I wasn’t alone in my quest to bring compassionate leadership into the workplace. But I’ll admit, it took some more digging to understand that it’s more than just being a “heart talker”. After years of applying this with my clients (and even at home), I have found that there are times when communicating from the heart is mission critical, and times when it should be avoided.

Here are 5 examples of when to Communicate from the Heart:

  1. There is already emotional noise on the line. If the person you are communicating with is noticeably emotional, consider matching (not countering) their emotion. Once the feelings in the room have subsided, you can proceed with the topic. While you may not be able to (or want to) validate their feelings, responding with empathy will allow them to collect themselves without being forced into premature acceptance. Statements like “I understand where you’re coming from” go a long way in working together.
  2. What you need to convey may be difficult to hear. Mary Poppins said it best (or should I say sang it best) “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down”. Speaking with warmth and compassion can help a team member receive some feedback that might not otherwise be heard. And the harder the message, the softer you want the heart that is delivering it. Yelling “You’re Fired” is good for TV ratings, but not so good for morale. Letting someone down easy is as much an art as it is a skill, and it takes practice. Delivery the news to yourself to prepare for the emotions the news may elicit.
  3. The problem is not clearly defined. Have you ever noticed that when people are trying to figure out WHAT caused a problem, they often skip to WHO caused the problem? This type of fact-finding-mission can get ugly quickly if those involved start off pointing fingers. If the analysis turns into a “witch hunt”, take a step back and interject some compassion and objectivity. Putting down the torch will not only calm the waters, it will help you and your team find a solution faster as cooler heads prevail.
  4.  Relationship AND results matter. It is an unfortunate reality that sometimes to get results, you may have to drive, scold, or correct people on your team. But this does not have to come at the cost of the relationship. When communicating that someone has done something you are in disagreement with, speaking from your heart can help preserve the relationship; using it is a teachable moment for everyone’s sake. Remind the person of things they have done well to reinforce the message that they matter, but don’t water down the problem so you can find an amicable solution.
  5.  Having casual conversation to set the tone. You don’t need to wait until you are engaged in “Crucial Conversations” to speak from your heart. In order to connect to those around you, find opportunities to have casual conversations that reveal and announce your humanity. Otherwise, speaking with compassion will be an indicator that something is wrong and will backfire on you. Being authentic doesn’t mean you have to bare your soul, but you should share your heart with those around you.
However,

if your heart is full of frustration, anger, or pain, you’ll want to revert to a matter-of-fact approach. Clouding a discussion with negative emotions is even more harmful than not interjecting positive ones into a neutral conversation. Be prepared to delay a conversation so your emotions won’t hijack it.

And in every case, check your heart BEFORE you speak from it. It is the spring from which all words flow! And as with all sound leadership advice, use this at home, too!

Do a new thing! 3 Questions for making lasting change

auto-115990_640

Ahh, the new year. For my family and me, New Year’s Day is a time to enjoy family and black-eyed peas. It marks the end of the holidays and all the celebratory eating that seems to come with it, and it marks the beginning of new challenges. Over the Christmas/Winter break, I tend to rest, read, binge watch, and spend time with extended family. (there’s nothing like a game of Taboo to get the blood flowing!) Then, I end the week with reflection, I clean out my closets and drop off donations. This physically and emotionally makes room for new things. Then we return to work to catch up on what was missed during the holiday all the while thinking of what changes you’re going to make.

In preparation for all this “newness”, allow me to share some questions you may want to ask yourself:

  1. Why am I making changes? Are you making a change because it’s necessary (for a defined benefit), or because you’re bored with what you have? Sometimes people make change for the sake of changing, and find that they didn’t really need to move that cheese after all. Figuring out the real motivation for change will help you stick with it, or allow you to put your efforts elsewhere.
  2. What do I need to change? To satisfy your “why”, you’ll want to come up with a clear “what”. This will also require some soul searching. Do you need a new car or just a new coat of paint? Maybe you just need to tweak something instead of inventing a whole new wheel. Consider doing an old thing a new way. Sometimes changing a running route can motivate you to run more consistently.
  3. How will you create (or apply) the change? It’s easy to say “I’ll start running” or “I’ll read more”, but how will you actually achieve it? The key is to set SMART goals – Specific – Measurable – Attainable – Realistic – Time-Bound. The only difference between a dream and a goal is a deadline and a plan. For example, “I’ll run 3 miles per week” or “I’ll read 2 business books per month”. These can be measured, and that is a key element to success.

 

Need help setting and sticking with your goals? Coaching helps you move forward and stay the course. How do I know? I got one myself! I’m looking forward to great things this year, and I pray that for you as well.

What Compassionate Leaders Know About the Holiday Season

wreathThe end of the year is upon us, temperatures have dropped, stores are filling up and so are our schedules. People are focused on closing out projects, wrapping up obligations and meeting the added demands of holiday stress. To maximize the potential of the people in our charge, compassionate leaders need to consider a few points while navigating their teams through this season:

Make room for extra Life
I always tell my project management students and clients to “make room for life” in their project schedules. Well, no time is this more true than during the Holidays. Suddenly your expert has had to run to the airport to pick up his mom,
or his daughter has a program at school. Schedules change, children have programs, relatives arrive, and personal schedules really pick up, so make room for the extra responsibilities. With Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s all occupying the same season, it’s no wonder people get partied out. So, instead of dreading the Holiday season schedule, plan for it.

Keep the light on.
This time of year marks a time of jubilant celebration for many, but not everyone on your team is rejoicing right now. On the contrary, this may be a very dark time for members of your team who have lost loved ones. The holiday season can be a painful reminder of loss and create a roller coaster of
emotions. So how can you help? Chances are you can’t (unless you are a trained therapist), and this leaves people feeling helpless and unsure of what to say or do. But you can be sensitive to not further the hurt, and provide the compassion their hurting heart needs. Privately acknowledging how your team member might feel is an important step in removing the isolation that can come and will help shine light in the dark time.

People have a different “Reason for the Season”
As a Christian, I believe that “Jesus is the Reason for the Season”, and you may, too. But, chances are not everyone on your team believes this. Compassionate leaders accept that people have
different belief systems, and they should all be able to express them. That’s what makes diversity so wonderful. Since US-based companies have Christmas off as a holiday, it’s not uncommon to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, after all, everyone will likely be able to enjoy the holiday, however they choose to spend that day. Have an internationally diverse team? Consider a Traditions around the World theme for your holiday celebration.

So go ahead, drink a gallon of egg nog, eat a pound of cookies, and spend way too much. However you celebrate the season, consider the ideas above to help you do so while considering the feelings of those you lead to excellence.